no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize