tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
