Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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