she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
