David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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