Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
