Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
