he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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