I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
