The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
