9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
