He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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