I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
time to smoke my breakfast
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
