dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
