Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need to stop coming to work sober
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
