For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
