Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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