It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
