I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
