Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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