scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
