That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize