it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
