i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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