The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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