There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
