someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
