wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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