I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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