hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize