It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
