I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
