belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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