Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize