I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I will die if light touches me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
