I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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