I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
