Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
