allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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