I love black thongs
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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