still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
