She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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