He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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