On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
