you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
