its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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