I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
