Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
