I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
