Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
