you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
