When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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