I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize