It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
