Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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