Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
