A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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