If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
