oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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